I am simply the worst…I just can’t get it together!!!!!

You are on prep, you have a fight, you signed up for a weight loss challenge…

You hit every workout, you eat every perfectly planned meal, you lose weight, you gain muscle, you feel incredible! You feel on top of the world. The event comes and goes, you slack or maybe even derail. That’s okay; you’ve been here before you know how to get back to that perfect plan!

Only this time it’s different. You do great for a day, maybe even a week, and then all hell breaks loose and you spiral more and more out of control. You do this song and dance for weeks, months or even years.

No problem, right?  You can do another show, join another challenge. You go back and forth, you gain and lose, gain and lose.

What gives? Why was it so easy one time but so hard this time? You may feel like you are alone! Over the years all the women that I have coached, I can tell you this is actually pretty common. There is a reason behind it all and honestly, it has nothing to do with what kind of diet you are on.

It is a problem with your mind.

Certain people (male and female alike, although women are generally harder on themselves about this) can be very “Type A” or high achievers – they set a goal and they attack it. They perform the task perfectly, flawlessly and they feel great about it and themselves, but why? One key reason is that your self-discipline was impeccable and your self-discipline is directly related to your self-esteem. When you are spot on you feel invincible. So where is the disconnect after your goal is met? The first problem is that you are still shooting for perfection. Most of us, deep down, know that perfection doesn’t exist, yet, still we strive for the unattainable and unsustainable fantasy land. Then you make one simple mistake because, well, life is life and doesn’t stop because of your goals. You miss a workout, you miss a meal, you give in to that free donut. Immediately you feel guilt and shame – here come the attacks! Not from others but rather from your biggest and meanest nemesis…YOU. You start replaying this audio: “I knew I couldn’t do it. I’m such a failure. Why is this so hard? Eff this, it will never work, I’m disgusting.”

Sound familiar?

You play it over and over and over. Ugh why…. why? The reason why is that you don’t know how to forgive yourself. You have tasted some perfection and you won’t stop until you have it again. There isn’t anything wrong with that…if you were a robot. But you’re not. You are human. You have special occasions, you have a sick kid, you get sick, it’s the holidays and you want to drink and be merry with your family! My advice, DO IT!  Remember that being fit and healthy is a lifelong quest – it’s not only for a competition or for the stage. There may be times when perfection may be needed, but you simply cannot be perfect 100% of the time. Stop trying. If you workout 80% or diet 80% of the time, or 90% or even 70%, would your body look different in one year, two years or how would it look in five years? Now how will you look if you workout 0% and diet 0% of the time? How will you look in one year? Or two or even five?

Where am I going with this?

If you slip up, GOOD!
Assess why it happened?
Was it due to poor planning?
Were there unavoidable changes?
Was it an emotional moment?
Did you experience sickness or stress?


Identify why it happened and do your best to prevent it from happening again. Understand that some things aren’t preventable.

Then after the mess up happens:
Get right back to the plan
Workout the very next day
Eat better the very next meal
Get back to your focus as fast as you possibly can.

Understand. Forgive. Move on.

The better you can get at this, the more consistent, the more dedicated and the better your discipline and self-esteem will be!

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